


Geek Squad

by The_Whip_Hand_81



Category: Jeremy Renner - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Based on true events but without Renner, Best Buy, Catholic Character, Dirty Talk, Explicit Language, F/M, Grandmothers are rolling in their graves, I'm going to burn in hell, Jeremy Renner is Manager, Just in time for Easter, Nuns, Reader Insert, Renner fixes more than computers, Sisterhood, Vaginal Sex, geek squad, vulgarity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 01:11:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10629054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Whip_Hand_81/pseuds/The_Whip_Hand_81
Summary: You help the neighborhood nuns fix their laptop by taking them to the Geek Squad, meeting a very hot manager in the process who offers to help.Pic collage to go with the story:https://flic.kr/p/Szn5fC





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by actual events that triggered this imagine. Was waiting at Geek Squad for help when I look over and see a Geek Squad guy who looked like a young Renner, kneeling by two elderly women who happened to be nuns. He was kindly explaining how to work their laptop and the light bulb lit in my head. It was so cute.  
> So here's the raunchy story that came from it. =)

You volunteer at Saint Augustine’s Church on weekends whenever you are free - which turns out to be almost every weekend unless your family comes to visit you. You have been volunteering your time to the sisters helping with food and clothing drives, soup kitchen, Sunday school classes and just being around them to help with chores around the church, rectory and the sisters’ dorm. Recently, the good people of your neighborhood donated a brand new laptop, 50 inch flat screen TV and a few tablets to the sisters in gratitude for their service and dedication to the community over the years. And new technology paired with the elderly -specifically the elderly who have devoted much of their time to the Lord- isn’t the best match. You have been teaching the nuns all you know about how to use a laptop and tablet every weekend for the past three weeks. It is no bother to you until a problem arises that which you cannot fix. Apparently, one of the nuns accidentally clicked on an email link she did not recognize and it released a pornographic virus onto the laptop sending dozens of sisters into a panicked frenzy. You even stopped one from literally throwing the laptop into the fireplace, “banishing the filth back to Hell where it belongs” as Sister Ann screeched in horror. After you hide the laptop safely in the guest room you stay in any time you want in the monastery, you reassure them all that you will take care of it and take it to be fixed and rid of the virus.

“We just need to take the laptop to Best Buy to be repaired,” you smile.

The round table of elderly women look at each other, befuddled, and back at you, “What’s a Best Buy?” 

You tighten your lips in exhaustion, then sigh, “Who wants to take a ride?” 

*

You drive five miles to the nearest Best Buy with four nuns dressed in civilian clothing. To the naked eye, you just look like a good granddaughter driving your grandmother and her friends around town. With laptop tucked underneath your arm and four elderly women walking behind you, you head into Best Buy and walk towards the back of the store to the “Geek Squad” station. As you wait on line to be seen, you turn to face the holy group, “Okay, since Sister Pat and Sister Moira are the most tech savvy, I think you two should stay with me so the repairman can explain what’s going on with the computer. Sister Mary Katherine and Sister Helen, you two can look around the shop, see the new and interesting things they have here. You’d be amazed what you’d find,” you smile at them. 

Sister Helen takes Sister Mary Katherine’s small hand into hers with a frown, “All right, I won’t let go of this one because she tends to wander off.” 

The tiny framed Sister Mary Katherine looks up at Helen, “Ah! You never let me have any fun.” They walk off into the store. 

You are next in line and step up to the counter where a young, pimply-faced man wearing the typical Geek Squad attire of white button down collar shirt, black tie and slacks clears his throat before speaking nervously, “Uhm, I’m Kenny, how may I help you today?” 

You smile warmly, “Hi, Kenny, we are having a problem with our laptop. It seems to have caught a virus and we were wondering if you can fix it…” you hand over the laptop to him. 

Kenny opens the laptop and an erotic moan comes from the built-in speaker making him slam the laptop shut, face red. “Uuum, listen, I gotta be honest with you. Today is my first day and I have no idea how to handle this type of thing yet cause I’m in training so, uh, I’m gonna have to ask my manager to help you with this one, if you don’t mind, ma’am.” 

You politely reply, “Sure, no problem.” 

Kenny pokes his head behind the wall of black curtains and whispers something to someone before facing you again, “Okay, the manager will be with you shortly, ma’am.” 

“Thanks,” you nod and cringe at the word ‘ma’am’. 

You smile at Sisters Pat and Moira, “Don’t worry, the manager will help us.” 

The black curtain whips open and out steps a ruggedly handsome man in his late 40s. Nicely combed dark blond hair, stubble above his upper lip and chin with small piercing blue eyes. A smile over his thin pink lips as he approaches the counter, “Good afternoon, miss, how may I be of service?” 

“Uuuuuh,” you space out as your eyes further scan his body. A crisp white button down collared shirt with a nice black tie and grey slacks. His sleeves rolled up a quarter of the way revealing his tanned skin and veiny wrists. “Yeeah,” is all you can muster out when Sister Moira pipes in, “Excuse her, you would have thought SHE was the one who took a vow of celibacy. We need our laptop fixed, please.” 

Your face reddens as the manager laughs, “You ladies are nuns?”

Sister Moira continues, “Well, us older women are. This one here,” she pats your shoulder, “she’s just our good friend who helps us old women learn about technology and such.” 

The manager eyes you from your waist up to your still blushing face, “How nice of her.” 

You finally snap out of your nervous daze and stammer out, “SO! We have a virus infecting our laptop and we need help.” 

“Let me have a look-see,” he opens the laptop to an erotic moan making you want to crawl into a hole and die. 

He arches an eyebrow as he looks at the screen now being dominated with graphic sexual GIFs and photos, “Yup. That’s a virus all right.” 

You avert your eyes as if looking directly at him will make you melt, “Okay, great. Thanks.” You begin walking away when the manager calls you back with a chuckle, “”Hey, wait, I’m not done.” 

You spin around and walk back to the counter, “Sorry. We’re just in a hurry is all.” 

Sister Pat looks at you, “No, we’re not.” 

“SO! How much is this going to cost? When will we be able to pick this up?” you ramble. 

The manager keeps scrolling through the X-rated screen, his eyes never leaving the machine, “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you just give me a couple hours - two, three hours tops - and come on back. I’ll make this job my top priority for the day.” He flits his blue eyes up to yours, you quickly look away. 

“That’d be great. Thank you,” you turn to leave without saying goodbye. 

Sister Moira shakes her head as she tells the manager, “We apologize on behalf of [Y/N], she’s not herself right now. Thank you so much, kind sir. What is your name?” 

“My name is Jeremy and it is no problem at all,” he smiles. 

**

After tearing Sister Mary Katherine away from the Samsung Virtual Reality head gear and 3 hours of wandering the mall, then eating in the food court, you all return to Best Buy’s Geek Squad. Of course, Sisters Mary Katherine and Helen run back to the virtual reality demo section again while you and the rest of the sisters wait on Jeremy to return from beyond the black curtains. 

You lean on the counter, ready to go home, when the curtain opens with Jeremy and laptop in hand. You stand straight up as he places the laptop in front of you and the sisters with a smile, “All fixed.” 

“No way. Really?” you are amazed as you open the laptop and see nothing explicit or graphic on screen. You click all the links and it works better than new. 

“I, uh, even made it run faster because I saw that it was lagging in speed a bit,” Jeremy rubs the back of his neck. 

“Wow..thank you so much, Jeremy.”

“Let me show you the shortcuts I made for you ladies,” Jeremy hops over the counter, showing his youthful prowess and places the laptop on an empty nearby table with three empty chairs. You gestures you three to sit down as he leans over your shoulder to scroll through various icons on screen. You can feel his body heat on your shoulder and smell the soapy clean detergent on his nicely pressed clothes.  
“This here icon is strictly for movie watching. You know, if you want to re-watch ‘Passion of the Christ’,” he cracks a joke. 

“Oh, please, that movie is overrated,” sneers Sister Pat, rolling her eyes.

“I also made an icon for Netflix, Google Chrome, Gmail and took it upon myself to stock your comp with a few games to keep you entertained.”

“You are too kind, thank you, Jeremy,” Sister Moira smiles up at him.

Clearing your throat, “Yes, thank you, how much do we owe you?”

Jeremy stands straight up and shoves his hands in his pockets, “It’s on me, ladies. No charge at all.” 

You open your mouth is shock, “Oh, no. Please let us give you something for all the trouble we put you through.” 

“No, no, I will not accept anything from you -” 

Sister Moira interrupts, “How about dinner at the monastery then? It’s the least we can do.”

“I cannot accept any favors from the sisters, it’s my job, it’s what I do-”

Then Sister Pat interjects, “Well, we do have a new flat screen TV that we have no idea how to install and set up, why don’t you come over to fix that up and if dinner should be on the table around that time, maybe you’d consider eating with us?” she gives him a suggestive wink making him chuckle again. 

Jeremy looks over to you, a small smile on his lips, “Sure, I’d be happy to help.” Your face turns red. 

“It’s settled then! Come by Trendle Street and Vine around 8pm.” 

“Sounds like a date,” he says as Sister Helen comes running over to you in a panic. 

“[Y/N]! Sister Mary Katherine doesn’t want to get off the virtual reality glasses and the movie ‘Boogie Nights’ is starting!” 

You gasp as you make a mad dash to fetch the feisty old woman. 

***

Eight o’clock sharp, Jeremy was on the monastery doorsteps with a bottle of red wine in hand for the sisters.  
“Thank you,” you sweetly take the bottle from his hand and move aside so he can enter. Still dressed in his work clothes, you watch his perfectly sculpted ass walk into the living room area. 

“It smells absolutely amazing in here. Is that a roast I smell? With” he takes a whiff of the air, “baked carrots, garlic and rosemary?” he asks, squinting his eyes in thought. 

“Wow, you have an amazing sense of smell,” you place the bottle of wine on the long oak dinner table. 

“It’s true, I do. I bet I can guess the perfume you’re wearing,” he shoves his hands into his pockets as he slowly walks over to you. 

“Oh...uh, okay,” you shrug as he leans his face into your neck and inhales. His hand moves a tress of hair from your shoulder to get a closer whiff, making you shake at a man touching your hair and being this close to you. 

“Mmm...is it ‘Irresistible’ by Givenchy?” 

Your eyes bulge from your sockets, “Oh my God, no way did you just guess that out of thousands of perfumes!”

Jeremy straightens up, “I had the privilege of dating a girl who worked at the perfume counter at Macy’s.” 

Your smile turns into a slight frown at the mention of another girl, “Oh.” 

He notices your change in tone, “We’re, uh, no longer dating though. Turned out she was sleeping with the guy from the jewelry counter.” 

“Oh...sorry..” 

Sister Mary Katherine shuffles into the room without seeing Jeremy (she has bad eyesight), “So, when is that hot guy you were telling me about coming over, dear?” 

You hop over to Sister Mary Katherine’s side, “Heeeeey, sister! Is dinner ready yet?!” 

“Yes, it is,” she sees him standing by the dinner table and realizes she embarrassed you, “Oh, Fudge.” 

****

Dinner is through and conversations about where Jeremy grew up and how he came to be a manager at Geek Squad overtook the dinner table as wine was served all around. After two glasses of wine from the sisters’ own private stock, you show Jeremy where the 50 inch flat screen is down the hall in the rec room. The sisters bid you and Jeremy a goodnight and even told him they’d send a prayer to God thanking Him for creating such a perfect, honest man to them when they needed it. 

Red wine running through your veins and with the sisters off to bed, you’re feeling pretty confident at the moment yet still apprehensive. You present the big TV which is still on the floor, resting against the bare wall, waiting to be put up, “Tah-Dah, here it is.” 

Jeremy inspects the TV and surroundings, touching and knocking on the wall, listening to the sound, “All right...let’s do this.” Jeremy turns to face you and begins yanking off his tie and unbuttoning his white shirt. 

You stutter, “Whoa, uuh.”

Jeremy laughs as he pulls off his white button down, revealing a white tank top, “Calm down there, [Y/N]. I always take off my work shirt before I install a TV. Don’t want to get it dirty.” 

You breath a sigh of relief, “Oh, ha! I knew...I knew that.” 

Jeremy turns to face the wall again and picks up the drill that was laying on the floor near the TV. He begins drilling holes into the wall as you watched every move his arms made. The bulging of his muscles, his sinewy arms lifting the TV, mounting it onto the wall. You lick your lips and he bends over giving you a perfect view of his ass as he grabbed the remote control to program the TV. It suddenly becomes very hot in the room. 

He stands beside you as he turns on the TV and begins flipping through channels. You press your lips together and finally find the words to thank him, “You are amazing. Thank you...I tried to nail that TV to the wall weeks ago but wasn’t successful.”

Jeremy’s eyes glued to the glowing TV screen, “I’d rather be nailing you against the wall.” 

“Ex-excuse me?” you turn to look at him.

His eyes still glued to the TV, “You heard what I said. I’d rather be nailing you against the wall,” his blue eyes finally meeting yours, “mounting you.” 

“Uuuuuh...come again?” you back up as he slowly steps closer and closer to you. 

“Sweetie, I haven’t even begun to cum yet,” he backs you into the wall by the newly installed TV. 

Your back is against the wall as he stands, seductively in front of you, his blue eyes nearly black with fully blown pupils, “Um…” 

“I ain’t gonna lie, you made my dick hard the moment I first laid eyes on you. So sweet and caring, almost virginal,” Jeremy brushes a few errant hairs behind your ear, “And I thought to myself, this girl practically lives with the sisterhood, she’s GOT to be feigning for some cock.” 

Flustered, you can’t seem to think properly. His crass language, his build, his dangerous eyes and strong hands is making you weak and crave him even more but you try to rebuff, “Jeremy, please….the sisters may hear you talking like that.” 

Jeremy presses his rock hard body into yours, pressing you against the wall more, his rock hard erection pressing into your stomach. He stares into your eyes when you turn your head away in shame of liking his aggressive side, but his rough hand grabs your face and turns you to look at him, “You’re the type of girl who likes dirty talk, I can tell. All good girls do. Makes them wet between the thighs, doesn’t it?” 

“Jeremy, please…” you squirm against him. 

“Jeremy, please’ what? You really want me to let you go or do you want me to fuck you up against this wall here?” he grinds his rock hard erection into you. You gasp with lust as his thumb traces your trembling lower lip. He dips his thick thumb into your mouth and he moans, “Mmm, I hope your pussy is as warm as your mouth…” 

Suddenly, you begin sucking on his thumb. You can’t control yourself any longer. This is what you want, this is what you have been waiting for. You suck on his thumb like your life depended on it and release it with a loud POP sound. 

You smile a devilish grin while he unzips his slacks with urgency, “There’s my dirty little Catholic girl…” then looks at your skirt and orders, “Take off your panties.”

You lick his lower lip, giggling, “I’m not wearing any.” 

He sucks in a breath, “Fuck...you’re gonna make me cum already, you little whore. How do you want it: fuck you in that sweet pussy or fuck you from behind?” 

You pull your blouse over your head exposing your lace white push up bra, “Front. I want to watch while you nail me up against this wall.” 

With one swoop, Jeremy puts his elbows underneath your knees and lifts you up, spreading your legs in the process and presses you up against the wall. You put your hand between your bodies, grabbing his long, straight cock and guiding it into your soaked pussy. You throw your head back against the wall, biting your lip to stifle your cry. 

“Uuuuhnnnn,” Jeremy squeezes his eyes shut and bites his lip, then his gravelly whisper into your ear, “you’re so fucking tight, woman...you’re gonna rip my dick off, you’re so tight. But, fuck you feel amazing…” 

Your hands holding onto the back of his head as Jeremy pounds up into you, thrusting his dick so far to the hilt into you, you fear you might scream any moment. Jeremy’s face is buried into your shoulder and neck, breathing heavily, sweat dripping down your shoulder and bouncing chest. He hammers into you more, faster and quicker. “Fuck, [Y/N]! I’m, I’m gonna cum…” 

You tease him, breathing heavily into his ear, licking the shell of his ear, “Fuck me harder, Mr. Manager...this good little Catholic girl wants to be fucked harder...come on, baby….give me something to touch myself later to…” 

Jeremy’s hips tremble upward as he moans, quickly pulling out of you and ejaculating upward. You quickly hop off of his arms, bend over and take his dick into your mouth (to his surprise), sucking off every last drop from his throbbing manhood. 

His mouth agape, his seed finished, Jeremy shakes his head as he stumbles to the wall leaning against it, “Holy shit, woman…” 

You giggle as you pick up your skirt and pull it back up, “I should’ve gotten my laptop fixed sooner.”

“Mmm, I’d love to see you more often,” he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you into him, kissing you full on the lips and releasing you. 

You hand him his shirt and he pulls it on, buttoning the buttons as he walks toward the door, you at his heels. “So, I can expect to see you again soon?” he asks you. 

“Fuck yeah,” you kiss him deeply and open the front door to let him out.

He winks, “Fuck yeah,” he places a kiss on your forehead and walks down the steps toward his car down the block. 

You turn around to the sisters standing in their pajamas looking at you. You screech in fear and embarrassment, “SISTERS! What, uh, what are you doing awake? I was just…” 

Sister Pat folds her arms over her chest, “-you were just having enough fun for the rest of us.” 

You stutter, “Oh, oh no..I’m so sorry, sisters…”

Sister Mary Katherine responds, “I told you ladies my pot roast is an aphrodisiac!”

Sister Helen frowns, “Next time tell Jeremy to speak a little louder. I only got half of what he was saying.” 

“HUH?” you are so confused. 

Sister Moira agrees, “Yes, he whispers too much. I mean, we may not be allowed to soothe our urges but we can imagine, can’t we?” 

“WAIT---you guys aren’t mad at me?” 

“Mad?! Of course not, dear. You’re always here with us never doing anything for yourself. We’re glad you finally got your ‘pipes cleaned’,” Sister Pat giggles. 

“Oh, okay...I think. Thank you for being so supportive….I think…” you are relieved but still somewhat confused, “I’ll, uh, I’m gonna see Jeremy again..I mean, eventually.” 

Sister Mary Katherine nods with a smile, “Good because he needs to come back to fix the TV.”

You look at her then back at the TV, “Why? What’s wrong with it?” 

Sister Mary Katherine suddenly knocks the TV off the wall, sending it crashing to the floor, then looks up at you, blankly, “It broke.”


End file.
